this by saying I'm by no means a blogger and i don't expect anyone to care about what i've written but i just felt the urge to say this:
I woke up this morning and the Mcqeen suicide was still lingering in my head. This tends to happen to me when ever I hear about celebrity death, more specifically - an accomplished celebrity's death. Now, I'm not sure why this is, being that I've had a significant number of my own friends fall victim to an unexpected death and all I seem to feel at their passing is numbness ..almost as if it were expected. Maybe it was to be expected for them ..for me. And maybe that's why when i hear about people, famously accomplished people, who seem to be living the fulfilled life ..the beautiful life, it is always so shocking to me ...so UNexpected. If i were to self analyze, I guess deep down what I'm really experiencing when i hear about these celebrity deaths is actually fear. To be confronted with the notion that even once you've "made it" you're still not immune from soul-crushing sadness, is crushing in of itself. I've spent my life with a pool of suicidal sadness at my feet and to think that no matter how beautiful life might get, it will always be there ...close by ...and ready to be sunken into ...maybe never to emerge, is frightening. RIP to all those who fell in.
RIP McQueen.
